Posts Tagged ‘ideology’

wounds

11/05/2010

I was thinking today on exactly how cruel people can be. I can think of times in my life where I was truly evil towards people and at the same time I can think of times where the exact thing happened to me. Often times we say things before speaking and later regret it. “No regrets” was my life’s philosophy for a very long time. The majority of my life to be more precise. All of that changed very recently. As you more than likely already know, I almost lost my wife recently due to pregnancy complications that most of her Doctors can still not entirely explain. Earlier this year we were looking at a potential divorce thanks to many bad decisions and communication issues on both parts. The entire ordeal lasted roughly six months, the first six months of this year to be exact. I said horrible things to her, never wishing her ill but I just was not a nice person at times, and I am sure she would say the same of herself. When the news came from her Doctor that she could potentially not make it through the storm of her illness, I was comforted in knowing where she would end up if the worst happened. I was riding in the car with Mom one morning leaving to hospital briefly to make a run to the store. During that drive I lost it, I pulled my sunglasses as close and tight to my face as possible to try and hide it. It hit me at that moment that if she did not make it, my biggest regret was not having the neccessary time to go back and fix things with her, make them right so to speak. It dawned on me that all of the drama, fights, cold stares, etc., wasted away valuable time with her that we could have been spending and enjoying together. In all of this, I learned a very important life lesson. That being that wounds heal generally fast, but words can never be retrieved. Once heard they do not disappear. The damage inflicted by ones words and actions is permanent unlike a gash that heals, scars over, and eventually is barely noticable anymore. Hope you got something out of that, if not then I apologize, I felt this needed to be written down.

God bless,

Chris

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365

11/02/2010

~The Lord says: I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will guide you with My eye. (Psalms 32:8-9) Easier said than done right? Accepting the fact that you do not always know the best route to take in life never is. But if we relax, read the instructions (scripture) and let go of the steering wheel of life, we can reach greater potential in our lives.
For example, while Jessica was in critical condition nearing a month ago, all I wanted to do was choke a doctor into making her better. To call it a day-to-day thing would be very wishful thinking. In fact it was more of a hour-to-hour scenario. Hundreds of people were praying and keeping her in their thoughts. It took me getting to my personal breaking point to finally accept the fact that there was nothing I could do. I was powerless. As a control freak, this destroyed every ounce of personal pride I had. But it was in that same enlightening moment that God decided to tell me to shut up, sit down, and thankfully watch him work. We quite literally went from a day where we were told she may need an emergency life or death colon surgery to remove the entire organ, to within two days being out of the ICU entirely and on our way to recovery. So the next time you are in a bind this way, just keep in mind and hold tight to the fact that it is not your job to fix the problem, just to be prayerful and faithful while observing the Master physician at work. My church (SCC) recently had a terrible tragic loss, from a scenario very similar to Jessica’s. In times like these it is all but impossible to see the logic and master plan. At the same time, it is very comforting to know that there is still a plan and although we do not understand it, it is very real. The promise of a reunion one day at the very least can be comforting through all the pain.

~Fact: “Do not be afraid” is written in the Bible 365 times.
~Fact: There are 365 days in a typical year.
Coincidence?

-Chris

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Phil Bristow likes this.
    • Fallon Joneswow very touching keep it up bro

      November 2, 2010 at 5:22pm ┬ĚLikeUnlike
    • Julie Cochran CoxI have been reading your blog. Rock bottom, and powerless is somtimes the only way God can get us to look up.

      November 2, 2010 at 5:46pm ┬ĚLikeUnlike
    • Steve Merritt it happend to me.

Random Thoughts 1027

10/27/2010

Random Thoughts 10/27

I was doing my usual surfing this morning and came upon a few things I decided to write about today. According to W.C. Fields (an American comedian/actor from the early 1900’s), “A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money”. The more I thought about this the more it made me think about a previous blog where I encouraged the readers to be more charitable. Even as a Christian I have caught myself several times looking down on others without ever considering the fact that if they had the exact same life as me, maybe they wouldn’t be requesting my pocket change outside of service stations. Makes you think a bit eh? I realized that I had won the birth lottery and my parents weren’t drug addicts, or neglectful, like many of the parents of the current homelss addicts of today were. That same guy begging to wash my window in a different time/place could have easily been me if one or two more choices made by myself of my parents was a tiny bit different.

I want to take a moment to discuss temperaments. Our temperament is our natural predisposistion. In further reading today I came across, as I often do, a few bits and pieces of British author Ocar Wilde. Wilde was quoted as saying “A work of art is the unique result of a unique temperament”. As always I tend to look for the “Jesus” in things. If nature (existence) is God‘s ultimate work of art and Mr Wilde is correct in his observations from the 1800’s what does that tell us about His temperament? Scripture says that forgiveness can be attained simply upon request. Ever been to the mountains and looked out over all of the trees in the fall? Every color pattern and leaf wrinkle unique in its own right, that same uniqueness would also apply to our God right?

I want to close with a bit of humor from Mr Robert Frost himself:
“A jury is a group of twelve people chosen to decide which of two lawyers is better”

Have a great day

-Chris

Forgiveness

10/27/2010

As I type, it is 2:30 AM and getting close to my little boy’s 3AM feeding time. While I sit here many things are bouncing off of the walls of my brain. One thing that stands out the most however is forgivenss. It is a simple, three syllable word. For many it is not a problem and for others the deprivity of this simple little word can eat them alive. Things as simple as a tiny fight they had years ago with a friend that ended their friendship still are harbored today and eat at them causing massive amounts of stress. Stress for many reasons but mostly over pondering if it is too late to try to make that situation right, or even still being bullheaded enough to believe that they were not at fault in any way.

In any event, when we forgive people we aren’t doing it to set them free, although that is generally the goal. There is more to it, something underlying. When you forgive someone, even if you only do it in your heart and never speak the words, it sets you free. And in todays world, we have enough to worry about without harboring a stupid grudge from years passed. In closing I would like to steal one of my own facebook status updates from a day or so ago.

It does not take a big person to carry a grudge, just to let go of one.

God bless, and good night

Chris

Denial

10/27/2010

It has been quite some time since my last blog. This is a new one and titled “fyi5” I have decided to go with the number five theme for several reasons, mostly because I like it.

I have recently become a father for the first time. I was not blessed to come into fatherhood easily. As a matter of fact my wife and I were in the middle of some very rough times in our marriage when we found out. I remember it as if it were this morning. She came into the guest room (where I had been sleeping for the past few weeks) on my birthday, March 4 and woke me up with a test in hand to say “Happy Birthday, by the way, we are having a baby”. My life changed a couple months later when I heard the heartbeat for the first time. It never truly registered up until that. After finding this out many things changed. I had been an active member of my church, visible on stage both services every week and participating in a wonderful small group on Sunday evenings. There I met, and re-met some of my closest friends. But I digress. Here we are months and months later after several hardships still together, and I love her more than ever. I have a new found appreciation for the woman she is, and everything she does, as well as now more so because I see her as a mom instead of just a woman. Situations in life rarely come across the way we wish they would, and few have happened the way “we” planned. So with that brief introduction out of the way I wanted to begin my new blog with this.

The bible tells us in Matt.10:13 that if we deny Jesus in front of our peers, he will in turn deny us in front of the Father. I have been terrified of my friends for almost two years now. I made decisions to turn my life around when my wife and I decided to begin the church-search. And once we found one (SCC) I began to feel the need to be open about my faith. It is very difficult for me. I have friends and family of all beliefs and orientations, ranging from : atheists, agnostics, straight & gay, of all colors and ages. I recently discovered something about myself, the reason I fear my friends is because hey know the real me. Sure I see 500+ people on any given Sunday that hear my voice blended with the large band and several vocalists. They see me at the occasional Church event. They visit my family in times of crisis. They call, text, and email me. They see nearly all of my life on Facebook. But the intimate part of me has always been private for the most part. In truth, at times I have a foul mouth, at times I am not whatsoever a nice person, etc. I feared them because they knew my flaws and habits. Today I learned that when someone is a real friend they will respect you regardless of your differences.

Do not let your faith be shaken by the scowls on “friends” faces when they hear about it. Be you, and if in fact they are a real friend, they will still love you just as much as before you professed your faith.

-Chris

Day One

10/27/2010

It has been quite some time since my last blog. This is a new one and titled “fyi5” I have decided to go with the number five theme for several reasons, mostly because I like it.

I have recently become a father for the first time. I was not blessed to come into fatherhood easily. As a matter of fact my wife and I were in the middle of some very rough times in our marriage when we found out. I remember it as if it were this morning. She came into the guest room (where I had been sleeping for the past few weeks) on my birthday, March 4 and woke me up with a test in hand to say “Happy Birthday, by the way, we are having a baby”. My life changed a couple months later when I heard the heartbeat for the first time. It never truly registered up until that. After finding this out many things changed. I had been an active member of my church, visible on stage both services every week and participating in a wonderful small group on Sunday evenings. There I met, and re-met some of my closest friends. But I digress. Here we are months and months later after several hardships still together, and I love her more than ever. I have a new found appreciation for the woman she is, and everything she does, as well as now more so because I see her as a mom instead of just a woman. Situations in life rarely come across the way we wish they would, and few have happened the way “we” planned. So with that brief introduction out of the way I wanted to begin my new blog with this.