Posts Tagged ‘diwali’

wounds

11/05/2010

I was thinking today on exactly how cruel people can be. I can think of times in my life where I was truly evil towards people and at the same time I can think of times where the exact thing happened to me. Often times we say things before speaking and later regret it. “No regrets” was my life’s philosophy for a very long time. The majority of my life to be more precise. All of that changed very recently. As you more than likely already know, I almost lost my wife recently due to pregnancy complications that most of her Doctors can still not entirely explain. Earlier this year we were looking at a potential divorce thanks to many bad decisions and communication issues on both parts. The entire ordeal lasted roughly six months, the first six months of this year to be exact. I said horrible things to her, never wishing her ill but I just was not a nice person at times, and I am sure she would say the same of herself. When the news came from her Doctor that she could potentially not make it through the storm of her illness, I was comforted in knowing where she would end up if the worst happened. I was riding in the car with Mom one morning leaving to hospital briefly to make a run to the store. During that drive I lost it, I pulled my sunglasses as close and tight to my face as possible to try and hide it. It hit me at that moment that if she did not make it, my biggest regret was not having the neccessary time to go back and fix things with her, make them right so to speak. It dawned on me that all of the drama, fights, cold stares, etc., wasted away valuable time with her that we could have been spending and enjoying together. In all of this, I learned a very important life lesson. That being that wounds heal generally fast, but words can never be retrieved. Once heard they do not disappear. The damage inflicted by ones words and actions is permanent unlike a gash that heals, scars over, and eventually is barely noticable anymore. Hope you got something out of that, if not then I apologize, I felt this needed to be written down.

God bless,

Chris

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